"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "What are your plans for the future?" "Are you going to go to college?" People toss these questions around like people toss an apple in the air when they're bored. Maybe 20% of people are genuinely interested, but for many, it's a conversation filler, like talking about next week's weather.
If you had asked me those questions years ago, you would have received an array of answers.* "A veterinarian," I would reply confidently, but in latter years my fear of needles would stand in the way. "A lawyer," but that takes a lot of school, more time than I want to put in. "A politician," and while I love to debate a point, I'm not really into politics. "A basketball player," but I really don't like dribbling basketballs, especially when someone wants to take it from me. "A clown." "A magician." "Executive at Apple." "TSA agent." (I mean, hey. Those people have some serious authority.) "Designer." "College Professor." "Physicist." "Chemist." "Rock Star."
But what do I really want to be when I grow up? What are my plans for the future? I'm not one to embrace uncertainty (it's certainly something that God is working on in my life). Being surprised just isn't my thing. So what do I want to be when I grow up? Where do I see myself in 10 years?
The answer: I don't know. And I don't need to know. WOAH! Did I really just type those words? I don't need to know the future?!?! But I'm such a planner, such a dreamer, such an anticipater!! Yes. But I don't need to know the future.
All I know about my future (and all I'll ever need to know) is who holds my future. And since I already know that, the rest is irrelevant. The One who holds my future wants the best for me. He wants to prosper me and not harm me. And He loves me like crazy!
So should I take that college test? What will my job be? Am I supposed to lead that project, study that subject, visit that college? Maybe, maybe not. God only knows. And He will lead me if I fall back, let go, and trust Him. Its not easy, but surrender is beautiful.
*Seriously. At some point in my life I did aspire to be each of these :)
